What to Do When You Can’t Pay Your Bills

Nothing spikes your blood pressure quite like opening a bill you can’t afford to pay. Maybe it’s the rent. Maybe it’s your car payment. Maybe it’s the credit card you used to cover groceries last month. And now the due dates are stacking up, the bank is calling, and you’re not sure what to do next.

And while the situation is tough, it’s not hopeless. In fact, there’s a smart, systematic way to navigate this kind of financial stress and it starts with one simple truth: not all bills are created equal.

When you can’t pay everything, you need a plan that focuses on keeping you and your family safe, healthy, and housed. From there, you can build toward catching up and getting back on solid ground. Let’s walk through how to do exactly that.

Step 1: Grab a Pen and Paper (Or a Spreadsheet)

I want you to sit down and make two columns. Label one “Essential.” Label the other “Non-Essential.” Now go through every bill, every expense, and ask yourself one key question:

What happens if I don’t pay this right now?

If the answer is “something serious or life-threatening,” it goes in the Essential column. If the answer is “it might hurt my credit or cause some stress, but nothing catastrophic will happen today,” it goes in Non-Essential.

This is not about ignoring your obligations. It’s about triaging your finances. Just like an ER doctor treats the most urgent patients first, you’re going to take care of the bills that matter most to your well-being and that give you the most breathing room.

Step 2: Know What’s Truly Essential

Here’s a breakdown of essential expenses and why they go at the top of your priority list:

1. Basic Food

You need to eat to stay healthy. This doesn’t mean gourmet meals or daily takeout. It means basic groceries to nourish your body. Shop smart. Use coupons. Choose budget-friendly staples like rice, beans, eggs, and produce.

2. Essential Medications

If your medication is life-saving or manages a serious condition, it’s non-negotiable. Reach out to your pharmacy or doctor for discount options or generic alternatives if needed.

3. Health Insurance Premiums

Don’t let your coverage lapse. Losing insurance can expose you to enormous bills if a medical emergency hits. If you can’t pay your premium, call your provider or visit HealthCare.gov to explore other options.

4. Child Support

Court-ordered child support must be paid. Falling behind can lead to legal consequences. If you’re truly unable to pay, contact the court or your state agency and request a modification.

5. Rent or Mortgage

Keeping a roof over your head is critical. If you can’t make the full payment, talk to your landlord or lender immediately. Explain the situation and ask if a partial payment or temporary deferment is possible.

6. Utilities

Water, heat, electricity. These are essentials. Pay the minimum to avoid shutoffs. If you’re struggling, ask about utility hardship programs or payment plans.

7. Car Payment

If your car is your way to work, keeping it is essential. Missed payments can lead to repossession. Contact the lender to discuss options like deferment or refinancing.

8. Unpaid Taxes (If Seizure Is Imminent)

If the IRS is threatening to seize your wages or property, get in touch right away to request a payment plan. They’re often more flexible than people think.

Step 3: Understand What Can Wait

Now let’s talk about the non-essential bills. These don’t go away forever—but they can wait a little while as you stabilize. Let’s put them in order of urgency:

1. Student Loans

You won’t go to jail for missing a payment, and most lenders offer deferment or income-driven repayment options. Visit StudentAid.gov to see what help is available.

2. Credit Cards, Store Cards, Gas Cards

Late payments will ding your credit score and rack up fees. But no one’s going to repossess your TV. If you can’t pay, call your creditor and ask for a hardship plan. Many offer temporary relief.

3. Personal Loans from Family or Friends

Yes, you feel responsible—and you should. But most loved ones will understand if you explain the situation and agree to circle back when you’re more stable.

4. Medical, Legal, and Professional Bills

These bills are real and should be paid eventually, especially if you’re receiving ongoing services. But they’re not top priority unless they threaten access to care or legal consequences.

5. Everything Else

Subscriptions, memberships, streaming services, gym fees. These are wants, not needs. Cancel or pause them immediately. Every dollar counts.

Step 4: Prioritize with Purpose

Once your lists are done, rank the essential expenses from most to least urgent based on the consequences of missing them. Food and medication come first. Housing and utilities come next. Transportation and legal obligations follow.

Then—and this is key—pay only what you can afford on the top items first. If you can’t pay everything, partial payments are better than none. And if you’re short, don’t rob Peter to pay Paul. That means: don’t put rent on your credit card or skip medication to pay the phone bill.

Step 5: Start Calling and Asking for Help

This part might feel uncomfortable, but it’s crucial: communicate with your creditors. Many companies offer payment plans, hardship programs, or forbearance if you simply ask.

Start with:

• Mortgage or rent assistance programs
• Utility payment assistance (ask about LIHEAP or local nonprofit help)
• Medical bill forgiveness or payment plans
• Student loan deferment options
• Credit card hardship programs

It might feel awkward, but I promise: asking for help is not a sign of failure. It’s a step toward regaining control.

Step 6: Make a Short-Term Budget

This is your survival budget. It’s not your forever plan—it’s your “get through the next month without falling apart” plan. Focus on:

• Covering your essential expenses
• Slashing anything that’s not necessary
• Looking for quick ways to bring in extra income (side gigs, selling unused items, freelancing)

Every dollar has a job. Give it one.

Step 7: Don’t Give Up

You might still feel scared. That’s okay. You’re human. But the fact that you’re reading this and making a plan means you’re already moving forward.

And here’s the good news: your situation is temporary. Financial crises don’t last forever. By focusing on what matters most, making tough but smart decisions, and asking for help when needed, you can get back on your feet.

So

When money is tight, and the bills feel impossible, the worst thing you can do is freeze. The best thing? Take one small step.

• Separate your essentials from everything else.
• Prioritize based on real-life consequences.
• Get honest with yourself and your creditors.
• Make a survival plan for this month—not forever.
• Look ahead with hope, because this moment doesn’t define your future.

You are not your debt. You’re someone learning to manage a hard season with grace, courage, and grit.

And if you need help mapping the way forward, reach out. Nonprofit credit counselors, community resources, and trusted advisors are out there ready to walk alongside you.